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Yan Pingzhong Kills Three Men with Two Peaches

The above quatrain is by Hu Zeng.¹ In olden times, the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors² yielded their thrones to their successors. In the time of Shun, a great flood wreaked havoc on people’s livelihood. Shun charged Gun with the task of controlling the flood, but Gun failed at the job. The flood surged on. In a rage, Shun killed Gun in the Feather Mountains. Later, Gun’s son Yu was appointed to control the flood. Yu dredged the nine rivers, thus draining the floodwaters out to sea. In executing his duty, Yu passed by his home three times without going in. He assembled all the dukes of the land in the Tu Mountains in Kuaiji, saying that all those late to arrive were to be beheaded. Fangfeng, the only one who arrived late, evoked Yu’s anger and was killed. His corpse was abandoned in the wilderness. Later, during the Spring and Autumn period, a cart that was filled up with one bone and one bone only, so it was said, was found in the wilderness in the state of Yue. As no one knew what bone it was, they turned to Confucius, who told them, “This is Fangfeng’s bone. Killed by King Yu, his bones still remain. He was a giant of a man.” Fangfeng was indeed a giant. Among the ancients were many men big in stature and kindly in disposition. There was an abundance of humans as ugly as beasts. Shennong, for example, had two horns of flesh on top of his head. Haven’t you heard the old saying “The ancients looked like beasts but possessed great virtue. The moderns look like humans but have hearts as wicked as those of beasts”?

I shall now tell how three big men died at the hands of a dwarf less than three feet tall who used nothing more than a few tiny objects for the purpose.

In the Spring and Autumn period, there was, in the court of King Jing of the state of Qi, a man named Tian Kaijiang. Standing fifteen feet tall, this man had a complexion as ruddy as blood, eyes as shiny as stars, a vulture’s mouth, fish’s jowls, and front teeth that had no cracks in between. Once, when he was following the king on a hunting expedition in the Tong Mountains, a fierce tiger suddenly sprang out from the western hills and charged at the king’s horse. The terrified horse collapsed, bringing the king to the ground. Tian Kaijiang, who was by the king’s side at the moment, pounced upon the tiger with nothing but his bare hands. Grabbing its neck with his left hand, he hit it with his right fist while kicking its face with his feet until he killed the tiger and rescued the king. The assembly of civil as well as military officials were awestruck, to a man. Upon returning to the court, King Jing granted him the title Lord Shouning. Thus he became the greatest terror in the state of Qi.

The second man in our story is Gu Yizi. Thirteen feet tall, he was a man with a complexion as dark as ink, jaws that bristled with a brown beard, hands shaped like copper hooks, and teeth as sharp as those on a saw. Once when he was crossing the Yellow River with King Jing, a rainstorm came upon them, stirring up surging waves that shook the boat almost to the point of capsizing it. The king, greatly alarmed, saw a fiery thing glistening merrily in the mist on top of the water. Gu Yizi said, “This must be the flood dragon of the Yellow River.” The king said, “What is to be done?” Gu Yizi assured him, saying, “Don’t worry, sire. Let me cut it with my sword.” So saying, he took his sword and got into the water, naked. A few moments later, the storm died down, the waves subsided, and there for all to see was Gu Yizi, leaping out of the water with the head of the flood dragon in his hand. The king was aghast. Gu was accordingly granted the title Lord Wu’an and became the second terror of the state.

The third man of our story is Gongsun, with the given name Jie. Standing twelve feet tall, his head like a tiered pagoda, his eyes the shape of triangles, and his back as strong as that of an ape, he could lift an object weighing a thousand catties. One day, when the Qin army crossed over the state border, King Jing led his troops forward to engage the enemy but was defeated. The Qin army swept in and besieged the king in the region of Phoenix Cry Mountain. Armed with a one-hundred-fifty-catty iron halberd, Gongsun Jie fought his way into unsuspecting enemy ranks one hundred thousand strong and rescued the king. Granted the title Lord Weiyuan, he became the third terror of the land. The three men pledged brotherhood, vowing to stand by each other until death. Ignoring all codes of courtesy, the three of them tyrannized the court, treating the king and the ministers as if they were nothing but grass and trees. The king found the threesome as irritating as thorns in his flesh. (Should these three men who vowed to stand by each other until death have worked as one for their master, even Yanzi would have had to admit defeat. What a pity that they instead sought their own death by insulting the king.)

One day, the state of Chu sent Ordinary Grand Master Jin Shang over to negotiate peace. The neighboring states of Qi and Chu had been engaged in warfare for over twenty years without respite. Having been appointed as the envoy by the king of Chu, Jin Shang was brought into the presence of King Jing.

“The long-standing enmity and war between the states of Qi and Chu,” said Jin, “have brought much su ering to the people. I am therefore charged with the task of negotiating peace with you, so that our weapons can be laid down forever. The state of Chu, with its three rivers and five lakes, with thousands of li in area and enough storage of crops to last us for several years, has the economic and military power to be the suzerain state. Should you decide to accept the proposal, sir, you will be in for both fame and gain.”

Tian, Gu, and Gongsun were furious. “What’s so mighty about your puny state of Chu?” they roared. “The three of us shall lead our powerful army and level the state of Chu to the ground! No Chu person will be left to live!” They ordered Jin Shang to leave the court and sent a guard with a gold bludgeon to follow him out, kill him, and come back with a report.

At this moment, a man only three feet eight inches tall emerged from one side of the hall. With dark eyebrows, refined-looking eyes, white teeth, and red lips, he was Yan Y ing, courtesy name Pingzhong, prime minister of the state of Qi. Stepping forward, he stopped the guard and asked for a full account of what had happened. After hearing Jin Shang’s account, Yan Y ing had him released, saying that Jin Shang could return to his state and that Yan Ying would follow for a peace talk. Then he ascended the steps of the hall to report to the king. The three men exploded with rage. “We were going to have him killed. Why did you let him go back?”

Yan Ying said, “Haven’t you heard the saying ‘Two states engaged in war do not kill each other’s envoys’? He came here all by himself. Should our neighboring states hear that we had him taken captive and killed, we would become a laughingstock for thousands of generations to come. Unworthy as I am, I am willing to go to the state of Chu and, with my three-inch tongue, talk the king of Chu and his ministers into bowing their heads to Qi to ask for forgiveness and honor Qi as their suzerain state. I need no weapon or soldier. What do you say to the plan?”

Bristling with anger, the three men lashed out, “What do you know? You dwarf! How stupid the people of this state were when they let you be prime minister! How dare you talk so big! Each of the three of us has the power to kill dragons and tigers and to battle ten thousand men. With us to lead an elite army to wipe out the state of Chu, what need is there for you?”

The king intervened: “The prime minister must have good reasons for his ambitious proposal. Let’s wait until his mission is over. If he does succeed, it will be a better option than going to war.”

The three men said, “If this dwarf brings shame to our state on this mission of his, we’ll chop him into mince meat when he comes back!” With that, they left the court.

The king admonished the prime minister, “Do not take your mission lightly.”

Yan Ying replied, “Rest assured, Your Majesty. Once in the state of Chu, I will see their king and his ministers as nothing but dirt.” Thereupon, he took his leave, followed by a retinue of about ten people.

When it was announced to the Chu court that his carriage had arrived in Yingdu, the capital, the Chu king took counsel with his ministers and came to this conclusion: “Yan Y ing of Qi being the eloquent speaker that he is, our policy should be to take the initiative so that he won’t even have the courage to start his speech.” Having thus decided upon their course of action, the king and the ministers summoned Yan Y ing to enter the court. Upon arrival at the entrance of the hall, Yan saw that the golden gate was closed, with only the lock board underneath left ajar. The intention was to humiliate the short Yan by making him bend low and go through the low opening. Without a moment of hesitation, he bent over and was about to stick his head into the opening (Wonderful!) when his followers hastily stopped him, saying, “They are throwing an insult at you because of your shortness. How can you play into their hands?”

He replied with a hearty laugh. “Don’t you know anything? Doors are for human beings, whereas doghouses have only holes. If I am an envoy to a state of human beings, I will naturally use a door, whereas if I am among dogs, I will naturally go through a dog’s hole. Isn’t this clear enough?”

At these words, the Chu ministers hurried to open the golden gate to greet him. Seemingly oblivious to all the people around him, Yan Ying jauntily stepped in.

In the hall, after the customary salutations, the king of Chu asked, “Is it true that Qi is but a sparsely populated small state?”

Yan Ying rejoined, “The state of Qi extends to the sea islands in the east, to the states of Wei and Qin in the west, the states of Zhao and Yan to the north, and the states of Wu and Chu in the south. The crows of roosters and the barking of dogs reverberate through thousands of li. How can you say the state is small?”

The Chu king pressed his point further: “The land may be vast, but the population is sparse and resources are scarce.”

“My countrymen’s breath rises like clouds; their sweat falls like rain. When they walk, they rub shoulders; when they stand still, their toes touch others’ heels. Gold, silver, pearls, and jade pile up like mountains. How can you say that the population is sparse and resources are scarce?”

“If the land is so vast and the population so dense, why is such a short man sent to my state as an envoy?”

“Great men are sent to great states, whereas lesser men are sent to lesser states. That is why I, Yan Y ing, am ordered to come to you.”

The king of Chu looked at his ministers, but they were at a loss for a reply. He invited Yan to mount the steps and o ered him a seat. As the attending ministers served wine, Yan Y ing drank to his heart’s content as if nothing had happened.

In a short while, guards with gold bludgeons brought to the banquet a man protesting against an injustice. Upon a closer look, Yan Y ing recognized him to be one of his followers, whom he had brought from Qi. When asked what crime he was charged with, the Chu ministers said, “This man is a thief. He was trying to leave with some stolen wine vessels when our guards stopped him. This is a clear case of theft fully supported by evidence.”

The man said, “I did no such thing. The guards are trying to frame me.”

“Since the evidence is here,” said Yan Y ing, “the theft must have been committed. How dare you deny the crime! Quickly take him out to the marketplace for execution!”

The Chu ministers said, “Why didn’t the prime minister bring along some honest men on this mission? Wouldn’t a follower’s theft bring shame upon his master?”

“This man,” said Yan Y ing, “has been a follower of mine ever since childhood. I know him inside out. What’s so surprising that he became a thief today? He had always been a gentleman in the state of Qi but degenerated into a thief once he was in Chu territory because of the change in local customs. I have heard that in Dongting, south of the Yangzi River, there is a kind of tree that bears golden oranges with a sweet smell and a delicious taste. If replanted in the north, instead of oranges, it bears green citrons with a stinking smell and a sour and bitter taste. The reason that the same tree bears di erent fruit when moved from the south to the north is the change in local climate. (Good analogy.) Thus, it can be deduced that a man who never steals in Qi will naturally be reduced to a thief once he finds himself in Chu. Is that not so?”

Overcome with shame, the king of Chu hastily left his throne and, with his hands folded across his chest, said to Yan Y ing, “You are indeed a great man, more than a match for even ten thousand dukes of all sorts in my state. I will be happy to follow whatever advice you o er me.”

“Please sit down, Your Majesty, and listen to this. There are, in the state of Qi, three mighty men, each of whom can battle more than ten thousand men. They have long had the wish to annex Chu by force, but I have been trying my best to dissuade them from such a course of action, for how can we bear to subject the people of the two states to the misery of war? That is why I am here today to negotiate peace. Your Majesty may issue a decree to the state of Qi, stating the wish to form a fraternal alliance with it. Should other neighboring states use force against us, we shall come to each other’s assistance. Free from all wars, both states will live for ten thousand years. If you ignore my advice, you are inviting calamity upon yourself. I am not trying to scare you. Please mark my words.”

The king said, “I would be more than willing to form alliances with people of your ability. But I dare not go to Qi for fear of the three treacherous strong men.”

Yan Ying assured him, “Please do not worry. I’ll be with you. With a little trick, I shall make the three men die in front of your eyes so that our two states can be rid of a source of peril.”

The king promised, “If the three men die, I will be content with being a subordinate of Qi. We shall make annual tributes with no complaint.”

Yan Ying accepted the o er. The king laid out a grand banquet in honor of Yan Y ing who subsequently returned, while the king gathered together some gifts as tribute in preparation for his upcoming visit to Qi.

Yan Ying sent a messenger to announce his arrival. Immensely delighted, King Jing of Qi ordered his dukes to follow him out the city gate to welcome the prime minister back. When the three men heard about this, they seethed with anger. Upon Yan Y ing’s arrival, King Jing alighted from his carriage in greeting and, after some words of appreciation for Yan Ying’s service, the king and the prime minister returned in the same carriage. Spectators filled up the streets. Yan Ying then took leave of the king and went back to his residence. The following day when he entered the palace, he saw the three men diverting themselves with a game in front of the hall. To Yan Ying’s salutations they paid no attention, as if he did not exist—such was their arrogance. (By believing that, with their physical power, they can well a ord to slight able men, the threesome are actually bringing an early death upon themselves.) Yan Ying remained standing for a considerable time before he turned away.

Once in the presence of the king, he told him about the insolence of the three men. King Jing said, “These three men always bring their swords with them into the court and treat me like a child. If this goes on, I’m sure they will usurp the throne. I’ve long wished to have them put out of the way, only I don’t have the means to do so.”

“Rest assured, Your Majesty,” said Yan. “Tomorrow when the king of Chu and his ministers are here, a grand banquet can be laid out. I shall play a small trick during the course of the banquet and make the threesome take their own lives. What do you say to that?”

“What is the trick?”

“These three are long on courage but short on intelligence. If we do this and that, we can rid ourselves of these pests.” The king was overjoyed.

On the following day, equipped with carriages of valuables and treasures of every kind, the king of Chu led about a hundred officials, civil as well as military, to the Qi court. King Jing invited them in. The king of Chu was the first one to drop to his knees in paying homage to the king of Qi, who hastened to return the salute, and then the two kings sat down as host and guest. At the order of the king of Chu, his ministers made their obeisance at the foot of the steps of the dais. With folded hands, the king of Chu begged for forgiveness: “I have given you much o ense within the last twenty years. I am now here to ask for forgiveness, as is advised by your prime minister. Please accept these modest gifts as tribute.” With thanks, King Jing of Qi accepted the gifts and laid out a banquet, in the course of which the kings and the ministers of the two states toasted one another. The threesome, in the meantime, stood at the foot of the steps, looking formidable with their swords strapped to their waists. When he moved around as courtesy required of him, Yan Ying paid no particular attention to the three men.

When they were well warmed with wine, King Jing said, “The peaches in the royal garden are ripe enough to be picked for dinner.” In a trice, a court attendant came up carrying five of them on a gold plate. The king of Qi said, “The peach tree in the yard bore only five peaches this year. Their sweet taste and smell make them distinct from peaches of other trees. The prime minister will now serve wine to mark the occasion.”

In those ancient times, peach trees were hard to come by. Five peaches in the same garden were quite a rare sight. Holding a jade wine vessel, Yan Ying served wine first to the king of Chu, who, after downing it, ate one of the peaches. Next was the turn of the king of Qi, who also ate one peach after finishing his cup of wine. The king of Qi said, “Such peaches are hard to come by. The prime minister deserves one for his most valuable service in promoting peace between the two states.” On his knees, Yan Y ing ate one and was granted a cup of wine. The king of Qi continued, “Among the high officials of the states of Qi and Chu, those who have rendered valuable service have the right to the remaining peaches.” (Good stratagem.)

Tian Kaijiang stepped forward brazenly onto the banquet platform and said while standing, “When following you, Master, on a hunting expedition in the Tong Mountains, I killed a fierce tiger. Wasn’t that valuable service?”

The king of Qi said, “There is no service more valuable than rescuing the sovereign.”

Yan Ying was quick to serve him a cup of wine and a peach.

Now Gu Yizi sallied forth jauntily, saying, “What’s so remarkable about killing a tiger? I killed a flood dragon of the Yellow River, rescued the master, and escorted him back home. I trod on the surging waves as if walking on level ground. Wasn’t that valuable service?”

The king said, “Indeed, it was a service unparalleled anywhere in the world. Wine and peach are in order!”

With alacrity, Yan Ying served him as he was bid, whereupon Gongsun Jie came forward and said, holding up the lower part of his robe, “With an iron halberd, I saved the master from an army of a hundred thousand, while none of their soldiers dared come near me. Wasn’t that valuable service?”

The king of Qi said, “Your meritorious service was indeed matchless anywhere between heaven and earth. However, there is no peach left. You will be o ered just a cup of wine. You may wait another year.”

“Your merit was the greatest of all,” said Yan Y ing. “It is a pity that you spoke too late. There is no peach left to reward you with for your worthy deed.”

With his hand resting on the handle of his sword, Gongsun Jie said, “Killing dragons and tigers is nothing compared to what I did, sweeping through the enemy ranks to rescue the master as if I were in no-man’s-land. For such a great service, I gain no share of the peaches. Thus humiliated in the presence of the kings and ministers of both states, I will be scorned by thousands of future generations. I won’t be able to live down the shame.” So saying, he drew out his sword and killed himself.

Appalled at the sight, Tian Kaijiang also drew out his sword and declared, “The two of us got to eat the peaches for our insignificant service, whereas my brother was given none, though what he did deserves more. How can I live down this shame!” With these words, he also took his own life, whereupon Gu Yuzi shouted at the top of his voice, “The three of us are as dear to one another as if we were born brothers. We have vowed to perish together. Since two of us have already died, how can I go on living by myself?” Turning his sword on himself, he also slit his own throat.

Yan Ying said with a laugh, “They would not have died without the two peaches. Now that a source of trouble has been removed, what do you think of my plan?”

The king of Chu left his seat and, with a deep bow, said in admiration, “The prime minister’s divine foresight does command respect. From now on, I shall forever honor your state as our suzerain state, and I hereby take an oath never to invade your land.”

The king of Qi had the threesome buried outside the east gate.

Henceforth, Qi and Chu established peace between them and put an end to all use of force. The state of Qi rose to be a dominant power of the times. Yan Ying’s name lived on through history. Even Confucius had good words for him. Later, Zhuge Liang³ wrote a poem to the tune of “Liang Fu Yin” about the incidents that we have related above. The poem says,

There is also a lyric poem to the tune of “Full River Red” by a poet of ancient times about the same story: