10 BRAGGING AND BOASTING, TURTLE AND EGRET BRING CALAMITY UPON THEMSELVES

If you reach a place of freedom and ease, then be free and at ease;

Do not imitate others who run on the two roads of birth and death.

By the time you have hastened east, you have already lost the west,

Before you can face south, you have to abandon the north.

Master Zhuang would rather drag his tail in the mud and disregard worldly honors,

Master Lie rode the wind and cherished his thatched hut.

Good and bad fortune all derive from the changeable glitter of the world;

How could the affairs of this world be compared to the eminence of the Dao?

The willow under which Xiangzi sat stood by a cave at the Xiang River—the very place where in his previous existence as a white crane he had frolicked with the musk deer.

It had been almost eighteen years now since the deer had been banished by Master Lü to the bottom of a deep pond, years that the musk deer had passed in controlling his pneuma and swallowing essences. He looked forward to the day when he would emerge again, but as the white crane had not come to deliver him, he was at a loss what to do.

Just then he saw a rosy light and cloud-like pneuma by his cave. Realizing that a divine immortal was passing by, he stretched his head, stirred up waves, and cried out, “Destiny has given me the opportunity to meet a great immortal. In your compassion, please deliver me!”

When Xiangzi heard the voice, he knew very well that it was the musk deer calling to him, but he deliberately asked him in a loud voice, “What kind of demon are you that you dare to raise winds and stir up waves deep in the water, thus obstructing my immortal’s chariot?”

The musk deer said, “I am a musk deer who eighteen years ago roamed and frolicked here with my partner, a white crane. Suddenly one day the two immortals Zhong and Lü passed by. They delivered the white crane and transformed him into a green-clad boy. Me, on the other hand, they banished to the bottom of this pond, because my words had offended them. I am to wait until my older brother crane has become an immortal and completed the Dao, realized his rewards, and ascended to Heaven. Only then will he come to deliver me. I have been expecting him anxiously, but he has never come. Today I have the good fortune to meet you, great immortal—this truly is the kind of fortunate encounter that happens only once in three lifetimes. I hope desperately that you will save and deliver me so that I may escape from my animal’s body and cross the river of emotional attachment. Knowing full well that I have brought this calamity on myself, I will never again dare to do wrong.”

Xiangzi thought to himself, “The Jade Emperor never gave me a decree to deliver him. My masters didn’t order me to set him free, either. How could I dare act on my own authority?” Then he said, “Today I have descended into the world on a mission from the Jade Emperor. Because I came in haste, I didn’t bring any golden elixir. How am I to deliver you? Around here jiao pears and fire dates are growing. For the time being I will give you one of each. The crane boy has already become an immortal and will come soon to deliver you. Be calm and patient and do not let your temper get the better of you, so as not to accumulate additional sins.”

Having spoken, he dropped a fire date and a jiao pear in the water. When the musk deer received them, he swallowed them in three gulps. Suddenly he felt his body becoming clear and pure, and his five viscera becoming quiet and still. As he bowed and said thanks, the wind calmed down and the waves subsided. Thereupon Xiangzi gathered in the auspicious light that had attracted the musk deer, and as before sat under the green willow.

In the same river and pond there lived a turtle with a gold-threaded, green-haired carapace. It had nourished its life forces for more than a hundred and ten years, but never having grown wings under its forelegs, it could not fly up to Heaven. Previously it had joined in the mischief practiced by the musk deer and the white crane. Ever since the musk deer had been banished and the white crane had slipped his body and left, the turtle spent its time sunning itself and playing in the pond. If people came by, it quickly dived under so that no one could catch it.

On this day, although it was hot, the air still felt fresh, and so the turtle happened to be floating on the surface of the water. When it poked out its head and looked around, it saw Xiangzi sitting under the green willow tree. It did not recognize him as its master from earlier days, but thought he was a fisherman out to catch it. Quickly it pulled in its head and drifted under water without moving. It was just as in this poem:

It carried a gourd on its back,

And gathered its feet into its fat waist.

It is difficult for winds and clouds to meet,

Even with an immortal basking on a nearby bank.

Floating in the water, the turtle looked just like a submerged stone. Xiangzi considered whether to instruct it, but feared that it could not be awakened.

While he was still undecided, suddenly an egret flew down from the sky. It had also been living for a hundred and ten years. Throughout these one hundred and ten summers and winters, innumerable fish and crabs in the ponds had been devoured by it. Now it had come again to look for food.

When it saw something green floating submerged at the water’s surface, the egret thought it was a stone with luxuriant green moss growing all over it. So it spread its wings and landed on it. Standing on the turtle’s back, it drank water.

When the turtle felt a weight on its back, it thought it must be the water snake come for some gossip, and poked out its head to look. When it saw that it was a white egret, it was not angry, but still shouted in a loud voice, “Who are you that you dare stand on my back?”

The egret was startled and said, “In such peaceful surroundings, what kind of beast are you that you dare speak in human language?”

“I am a gold-threaded, green-haired turtle, who has lived here for many years,” the turtle said. “Where do you come from, rascally bird, that you dare speak in human language? Clearly you have come to bully me.”

“I was born and grew up in the Hua Mountains, and have spread my wings in the blue sky above the Jasper Pool,” said the white egret. “Sensing the approach of humans, I take flight, and soar about before alighting.¹ Ugly creature, although you may appear in dreams to King Yuan of Chu, you cannot avoid the suffering of seventy-two holes being drilled into you. You can just pull in your head and neck and drag your tail in the mud.² Who allowed you to drift in the blue waves and float on the clear ripples, all the while speaking human language, startling people, and offending animals?”

“Among the 360 hairless beings, man is the first,” the green-haired turtle answered. “Among the 360 feathered beings, the phoenix is the first. Among the 360 scaly beings, the dragon is the first. Among the 360 shell-covered beings, I am first. Although you may soar to the Milky Way and reach the sky, you are only the last among the birds. What right have you to speak such grandiose words?”

“Among the animals of the world only the parrot can speak, and only the mynah can recite the Buddha’s name. I have never met a talking turtle,” the egret remarked.

“A rock once spoke in Jin—if even non-sentient beings can talk, why regard it as strange when a numinous being such as I can do the same?” the turtle replied.

“I won’t laugh at your shortcomings, and you won’t speak of my strengths—let’s become brothers, shall we?” the egret said.

“Each of us will spell out his strengths. Whoever has more to offer will become the elder brother,” the turtle agreed.

The egret said, “I’ll go first:

“My body is covered in white feathers,

I am free and comfortable,

And do not yield to a thousand-year-old redheaded crane.”

The turtle said,

“My body is covered with golden threads,

Glittering and shiny.

What is there to distinguish me from the hundred-year-old purple-clad sea-turtle?”

The egret said,

“As I stand in the water watching for fish,

My shadow falling on the cold pond

produces patterns like uncut jade.”

The turtle said,

“As I turn towards the sun,

My shell on the pond’s bank competes in preciousness with that of a pearl-bearing oyster.”

The egret said,

“I raise my wings near the red clouds,

In my embroidered nest I give birth to an Immortal of Supreme Perfection.”

The turtle said,

“I stretch my body and float in the green water,

In a secluded place among the algae and duckweed I bring forth a blue-eyed barbarian.”³

The egret said,

“My crown is covered thickly with feathers,

Which surely resembles dazzling embroidery on the river bank.”

The turtle said,

“My chest harbors the eight trigrams;

Are not their canonical principles inscribed on my heart?”

The egret said,

“If I swallow a pill of golden elixir,

I shall right away become a feathered immortal in the land of Cinnabar Mound.”

The turtle said,

“If I am delivered by the Eight Immortals,

I shall leave the world of dust in a moment.”

The egret said,

“As I stand by the pond’s clear water,

My pure white plumes are worthy of being painted.”

The turtle said,

“When I climb up to the foot of that green willow,

The green sedge on my armor greatly amazes people.”

As the two animals were arguing, they did not pay any attention to their surroundings, and so were not aware that a hunter was drawing closer step by step. He saw the white egret standing there, its head stretched out, its wings spread, as if it were talking to someone. The hunter lifted his golden-stringed bow, inserted a wolf’s tooth arrow, and picked off the egret. This poem describes it well:

The left hand drawing the bow, the right pushing,

He pierces a willow leaf at a hundred paces—such is his marksmanship!

Although he hasn’t hit the tiger of the Southern Mountain,

The white egret collapses and loses its life.

As the green-haired turtle was still sighing on seeing the white egret being shot down, a fisherman appeared, punting a small boat and drifting on the deep pond near the cave. When the turtle saw how rapidly the boat was coming on, it stretched out its four legs and hurriedly swam towards a deep place in the water.

When he saw the turtle flee, without undue haste the fisherman took an iron trident and thrust at the turtle. It cracked open the turtle’s shell and fresh blood gushed out. Again a poem puts it best:

A steel trident twelve feet long,

Its tip and edge sharper than those of a deity’s spear.

Thrust with a clear eye and a quick hand, it doesn’t miss its aim—

Today the turtle meets King Yama.

Within a short time both animals had died at the hands of the hunter and the fisherman. Only now did Xiangzi make himself visible and sigh, “Every drink and every bite of food are predetermined. Life and death are up to fate, wealth and rank are up to Heaven—truly, these are not empty words.” As he was sighing, a thought came to his mind: “After I had received the Jade Emperor’s decree and left the Golden Palace, I went to an audience with the Queen Mother. Afterwards I should have gone and taken leave of my two masters. I have sinned by descending into the world without even saying a word to them.”

Hurriedly he ascended a cloud and hastened to their grotto palace. He called upon Cool Breeze and Bright Moon to announce him to the two masters Zhong and Lü.

The two masters said, “You have received an order to deliver Chonghezi. Why are you here again?”

Xiangzi knelt down and said, “I have received the Jade Emperor’s command, as well as treasures and golden writs. I was also given three golden tablets by the Queen Mother. I am on my way to Changli County in Yongping Prefecture to deliver my uncle Han Yu so that he may ascend to perfection and complete the Way, realize his rewards, and ascend to the Primordial Center. I have come especially to take my leave of you, hoping for one or two pieces of advice.”

“He is now a high official on a big salary—he won’t agree easily to abandon it and cultivate himself,” the two masters said. “You must use a variety of methods of instruction. Do not fail in the Jade Emperor’s mission!”

“What should I do if he won’t change his mind?” Xiangzi asked.

“If he still has not changed his mind after you have tried three times to deliver him, return the golden decree.”

“I will diligently obey your strict command!” Xiangzi said. It was as in this poem:

As clouds drift outside the ancient grotto, the pass is already closed.

A fragrant wind mistily suffuses the world of dust.

Why would a divine immortal approach the world of mortals?

He makes the journey to deliver Han Yu.

When Xiangzi had descended from the mountains, he took off his nine-clouds headcloth, stuffed it into his basket, and replaced it with a yin-yang headdress. He changed his gown, which was adorned with the Nine Palaces and Eight Trigrams surrounded by dragons, into a Daoist robe of coarse cloth. He smeared some dust and dirt on his face and changed himself into a sallow-faced, skinny Daoist with a crazed expression. In his hands he held a fisher drum and a clapper, singing Daoist songs as he walked along the road. What did these songs, to the tune “Shoals amid the Waves,” speak of?

“A poor Daoist, I have come down from the mountains,

Short of rice, without any firewood.

A fisher drum in my hand, I walk the main street,

Begging for money to buy good wine,

Which I will pour and drink by myself.

“The fisher drum sounds again and again,

Not false and not true.

I do not seek some small profit or a famous reputation,

But just let wild gusts blow through the wild grasses,

Scattering their pure blossoms.”

Xiangzi beat the fisher drum, clapped the clapper, sang his Daoist songs, and laughed loudly. Everyone in the street, young and old, male and female, gathered to hear him sing. When they heard that he sang well, they called, “Crazy Daoist, where did you learn these songs? Sing us another!”

Xiangzi said, “The proverb says it well, ‘Better to fail in business than to suffer hunger.’ Singing on my way, I haven’t made a single copper coin to buy myself a bowl of noodles. Now my stomach is hungry and I have no strength left to sing. If you would just give me some vegetarian food so I can eat my fill, I will sing you a good song. How about it?”

Together the people said, “We have some wine and vegetarian food. If only you sing well, we’ll see to it that you can eat your fill this morning.”

Xiangzi beat his fisher drum and his clapper, and sang to the tune “Brocade Covering the Ground”:

“A child of ten years is just the right age to cultivate himself,

His original yang has not leaked out and can be preserved whole.

A pill of golden elixir is truly mysterious and marvelous,

Body and mind purified, he will pace the land of the immortals.

“At twenty he will marry a wife;

He’ll sleep with a living ghost, yet will not fear her.

What he should fear, though, is that the Cinnabar Sand may escape from the Golden Tripod,

Toppling that splendid seven-jewelled pagoda.

“At thirty he will become entangled in the affairs of the world,

Just like a silkworm asleep in its cocoon.

His body will be bound by silk threads all over,

Not allowing him to spread out a rush mat or a felt rug for a rest.

“At forty he will have many sexual relations,

His essence and spirit will be wasted and scattered, his balance and harmony impaired.

Thinking of his misery, he’ll realize it is derived from previous misery,

But even if he were to quickly cultivate himself, he would find no shelter.

“At fifty he is old and close to death,

Because in his young years he wouldn’t cultivate himself in time.

He waited until his primordial yang was exhausted;

Now he seems like sesame seed whose oil has been completely roasted out.

“At sixty he is all wizened,

His grandsons and granddaughters are just blurs before his eyes.

Why worry that everyone should live to a hundred?

The honey locust pods are crushed to a pulp.

“At seventy he is fearful every moment,

Wife and sons seem like tigers, he like a goat.

If there is joy, they are joyful together,

If there are worries, he is on his own.

“When an old man is seventy-seven,

Four more years and he is eighty-one.

The eyes blind, the ears deaf, and no one there to support him.

With such misery, what good is there in still being among the living?”

Having heard the song, the audience all praised him. Some gave him fruit and cakes to eat, some wine and meats. Some gave him copper and silver coins, saying, “Crazy master, take it and buy yourself something to eat.” Others gave him cloth and silk, hempen shoes and straw sandals, saying, “We wish to be friends with you, master.”

Xiangzi accepted everything, but ate only a little of the fruit. The remaining wine and meats, copper and silver, cloth and silk, and shoes he distributed among the beggars at the market.

The people admonished him, “We gave these things as alms to you. Why are you giving them to the beggars? Do you think our things aren’t good enough? Or don’t you know to honor other people’s gifts properly?”

“I have left the family and rely completely on alms gladly given,” Xiangzi said. “How would I dare bear a grudge because some give much and others little, or because some treat me lightly, while others show me respect? It is just that ever since ancient times, wine, lust, wealth, and temper have been things that are best avoided. How could I dare drink wine and accept money? It would only create trouble.” Then he again struck the fisher drum and sang a song to the tune “Jade-Entwined Branches”:

“Insatiable greed for the wine cup,

Every day you recklessly fill it with Scattered Clouds wine.

Ziyun’s satire was to battle the spread of drunkenness,⁴

Yet with a wine skin in one hand and a painter’s brush in the other,

Jiying liked to cheer himself up with drink.

Thinking back to the vegetable and fish dishes of his home district and interested only in the strong liquor made from grapes,

He tipped over drunk—what a disgrace!⁵

Incessant drinking

Pickled the Immortal Ge,

And buried the graduate Zhang in liquor.⁶

When you rave deliriously,

Who will heal you?

You brag about heroism,

But leave wealth and honor to others.

There are calamities for you on the margins of the grave,

And danger at the rim of that jade vat.

Wine!

Let the world be warned against it.

“Who are you hankering after?

At first they are all cherry cheeks and almond faces,

But the beauty of the river goddesses of Mount Wu and of the

banks of the Luo River is not real.

If we compare the gorgeous Xizi to the ugly Wuyan—

Where will we find one who combines beauty and perfect virtue?

Dragon spittle among the bedsheets marks the beginning of struggle,

Brocade petals are like a defeat at the enemy’s hands on the field.⁷

Have you ever worried about your beloved’s figure?

Broken simurgh hair pins,

Unused trousseaus—

Why get all worked up about such trifles?

With your own eyes you have seen the concubine cast herself from the tower,

Yet still you dwell in the Pavilion of Linchun.⁸

I laugh at you men

Who bring the whip onto themselves.

Alas that the young girl

Should conceal a sword.

Lust!

Let the world be warned against it.

“The stinginess of the wealthy and the excesses of luxury are all results of acquisitiveness.

Wang Rong and Guo Kuang had insatiable minds,

Embracing hoards of gold,

And grasping ivory tablets.

What did they know of the modesty of Bao Shuya, who shared his gold with Guan Zhong?

An attitude infinitely better than owning a mountain of copper.

He Qiao of the Jin dynasty was much criticized for his avarice,

Just as Zhu Yi came to grief because of his greed.⁹

The elephant is killed for its ivory tusks,

Much wealth thus requires humility.

If you measure your pearls in pecks,

And hang your trees with precious silk,

You will be killed by one who lusts after your beautiful women,

Or slain by one who desires your precious sword.

Those ten thousand strings of cash of yours are all in vain

When you perish in a ditch.

Wealth!

Let the world be warned against it.

“A hero with passions aflame,

Like a leopard or tiger, is unable to control himself.

Yet the capitals of Daliang and Yan were usurped

In spite of all their heroes’ curses and impressive posturing.

They draw lots, sharpen their blades, and guffaw,

But as they laugh and talk, they fall into a ditch.

Soaked and red-faced

They become the laughingstock of bystanders.

With nothing but disdain for the cozy comfort of nobles,

These heroes hold on to their military seals.

As their hair stands up in anger,

Their demeanor becomes yet more ferocious.

And yet they are afraid of the assassin’s awl at Vast Wave Beach,

And in loneliness end their own lives at Black River.¹⁰

How can you forget this?

Unreal like bubbles and shadows are the dangers to the nation,

Yet these heroes keep fighting each other endlessly.

Temper!

Let the world be warned against it.

“None of these can equal us Daoists!”

(To the tune “Zuixiangfeng”)

“As we beat the fisher drum and sing loudly, our cheerfulness increases;

As we pluck the numinous fungus, our happiness knows no end.

We shout aloud,

But at the same time conceal ourselves.

Riding the clouds and mists,

We journey through the Nine Heavens in the twinkling of an eye.

Let bystanders laugh at us as crazy.”

At the end of the song, the audience all applauded and said, “Although this Daoist is somewhat crazy, he knows many things of ancient and present times. He is well versed in literature and understands principles—quite unlike those hawkers at the street corners who deceive people with their glib talk.”

The man who had given wine to Xiangzi said, “Master, if you don’t drink my wine, you disrespect my good will in buying it for you. What’s more, wine is a blessing in the human world. Divine immortals have transmitted it for generations. Thanks to wine, Liu Ling and Ruan Ji attained the Dao and became immortals. For sacrifices to Heaven and Earth, ‘great broth’ and ‘dark liquor’ are used. It won’t do any harm if you drink a few cups today.”

Xiangzi could not evade his admonishments and had no choice but to drink a few bowls. Quickly he appeared to become intoxicated and, feigning drunkenness, he fell to the ground.

When the people saw him drunk, they asked, “Crazy Daoist, where do you live? Lying there drunk like that, who is going to help you home?”

A man in the crowd said, “This Daoist is an interesting fellow. Let’s find out his address and carry him there.”

When Xiangzi saw the people chattering among themselves, he staggered up, laughed loudly, and sang to the tune “Shoals amid the Waves”:

“So drunk that I can hardly open my eyes,

I lie on the main street.

Everyone laughs at me, but I give no reply.

May we ask where you live?

My home is on the Penglai Isles!”

When the people heard him sing, they clapped their hands and laughed, “You sing your Daoist songs so well—are you perhaps from Suzhou?”

Xiangzi said, “I am from Changli County in Yongping, not from Suzhou.”

“So you are a local fellow,” the people said. “Why weren’t you honest instead if making such pretentious boasts?”

“My benefactors, in your presence I have not lied nor deceived Heaven,” Xiangzi said. “Everything I said is the truth. Why do you say I am a pretender?” He turned around and left.

The people all said, “Just look at this crazy fellow.” And right away they ran after him. This poem is apposite:

Mortal eyes cannot distinguish clearly,

Facing a divine immortal they don’t recognize him.

Nobody asks about a tiger hidden deep in the mountains,

But everyone is startled when it shows its fangs and claws.

If you don’t know where Xiangzi went, listen to the next chapter.